Friday, February 20, 2009
The Good, the Bad . . .
and the SWEATY.
The bad news is I haven't heard from Josh. Still.
The good news is I'm eating blueberry pie for breakfast.
The sweaty? Last night I spent three hours sweating for my big sister. Her company is producing a parody of MC Hammer's Can't Touch This for whatever reason, and they had three of their six backup dancers flake at the last minute.
So at 6:45 I put both my kids to bed and hauled it down to Rancho Cordova where I put on black leggings, put my hair in a super high pony tail, and learned some awesome dance moves. Then we danced, and danced, and sweated, and danced.
And you know what? It was really fun! It was just the thing I needed to keep my mind off of Josh and to not sit around moping all night.
Once they get the rights and post it on YouTube, I promise I'll link you all up so you can laugh at me. :-D
The bad news is I haven't heard from Josh. Still.
The good news is I'm eating blueberry pie for breakfast.
The sweaty? Last night I spent three hours sweating for my big sister. Her company is producing a parody of MC Hammer's Can't Touch This for whatever reason, and they had three of their six backup dancers flake at the last minute.
So at 6:45 I put both my kids to bed and hauled it down to Rancho Cordova where I put on black leggings, put my hair in a super high pony tail, and learned some awesome dance moves. Then we danced, and danced, and sweated, and danced.
And you know what? It was really fun! It was just the thing I needed to keep my mind off of Josh and to not sit around moping all night.
Once they get the rights and post it on YouTube, I promise I'll link you all up so you can laugh at me. :-D
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Not Thursday
Apparently he's not coming home today, either. When will he be home? Apparently God is the only one who knows, and He hasn't told me.
I was going to tell you all about my bedroom decorating project, and how awesome my bedroom will look when we get back to Provo and I work my inexpensive super fabulous decorating skills.
But all I can think about is how I'd really like to drown my sorrows in ice cream with caramel sauce. And I totally would--if I weren't up 2 lbs this week. I want my husband back. I want him back yesterday. I remind myself of the approximately $100 he's making each day he's there. But I'd rather have Josh.
In good news, Shauna found my wedding rings! That's a relief and a comfort.
I was going to tell you all about my bedroom decorating project, and how awesome my bedroom will look when we get back to Provo and I work my inexpensive super fabulous decorating skills.
But all I can think about is how I'd really like to drown my sorrows in ice cream with caramel sauce. And I totally would--if I weren't up 2 lbs this week. I want my husband back. I want him back yesterday. I remind myself of the approximately $100 he's making each day he's there. But I'd rather have Josh.
In good news, Shauna found my wedding rings! That's a relief and a comfort.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thursday
No Josh today, I heard from him already this morning.
Of course, he called at 6 a.m. after a rough night. I went to bed at 11:30, woke up at 12 and was up for a half hour comforting an upset Guy. Then up again at 3 to feed Leo. Woo hoo!
So today I'm going out to play with mom. Should be fun. Hopefully Josh will have an okay day, too.
Of course, he called at 6 a.m. after a rough night. I went to bed at 11:30, woke up at 12 and was up for a half hour comforting an upset Guy. Then up again at 3 to feed Leo. Woo hoo!
So today I'm going out to play with mom. Should be fun. Hopefully Josh will have an okay day, too.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
No phone call yet
So probably no husband today. Tomorrow, I can hope. I'm fine with another day, after all one day compared to seven weeks is not long at all. But poor Josh has little to keep him occupied. He told me this weekend that he's written more than 90 pages in the journal he received for Christmas. Whoa.
And can anyone teach me how to get my three-month-old to nap? Seriously, everything was fine but now he wants to be awake all the time. He hardly even nurses to sleep anymore and won't take swaddling (which worked great to get him to pass out until now). He does great at night still--his worst night was sleeping from 8:30 until 7 a.m. with one or two feedings in there.
But this nap thing I never got quite right with Guy, and I *need* my kids to be napping.
Help!
And can anyone teach me how to get my three-month-old to nap? Seriously, everything was fine but now he wants to be awake all the time. He hardly even nurses to sleep anymore and won't take swaddling (which worked great to get him to pass out until now). He does great at night still--his worst night was sleeping from 8:30 until 7 a.m. with one or two feedings in there.
But this nap thing I never got quite right with Guy, and I *need* my kids to be napping.
Help!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Body Image
Being a woman, sometimes I find it really hard to have a healthy, balanced view of myself. I know it's really important, especially since I have two little boys whose view of women will be shaped almost entirely by how I act.
So I try not to talk about losing weight in front of any kids. I'm working on learning to admire my body and to take the best care of it, instead of stressing about imperfections. After all, what message are we sending when we insist that Mom just isn't pretty enough, or thin enough? Is there really such a thing as "pretty enough"? I thought all God's creations were beautiful and marvelous in their own way. That includes the human body and all its imperfections.
I'm growing to like the hair color. It's not very evenly distributed, so the top is very red and the ends are still quite dark. But I could see myself dying my hair and enjoying it if I had the money to pay a professional.
The other thing I've discovered lately is a solution for my mild acne! My problem hasn't ever been too bad, but clear skin is great. Salicylic acid wash, benzoyl peroxide (applied fairly liberally to problem spots) and a mild moisturizer. I've been doing this for a week and I have not had a single pimple since I started. One started to threaten to come up through the skin, but it turned tail and ran away. Pretty awesome, huh?
So I try not to talk about losing weight in front of any kids. I'm working on learning to admire my body and to take the best care of it, instead of stressing about imperfections. After all, what message are we sending when we insist that Mom just isn't pretty enough, or thin enough? Is there really such a thing as "pretty enough"? I thought all God's creations were beautiful and marvelous in their own way. That includes the human body and all its imperfections.
I'm growing to like the hair color. It's not very evenly distributed, so the top is very red and the ends are still quite dark. But I could see myself dying my hair and enjoying it if I had the money to pay a professional.
The other thing I've discovered lately is a solution for my mild acne! My problem hasn't ever been too bad, but clear skin is great. Salicylic acid wash, benzoyl peroxide (applied fairly liberally to problem spots) and a mild moisturizer. I've been doing this for a week and I have not had a single pimple since I started. One started to threaten to come up through the skin, but it turned tail and ran away. Pretty awesome, huh?
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Umm . . .
I dyed my hair yesterday. It looks faintly purplish. Oh, well. Don't tell Josh, but I would NEVER have done this if he didn't think it would be fun, and frankly I'm probably never dying my hair again. Waste of money. I love my normal hair.
And it's now midnight and I'm still up (stupid, stupid, stupid) because I just spent an hour googling container gardening, and another hour googling my ex-best friend from high school to learn that she is now living with the man she obsessed over in high school.
And Josh probably won't be home tomorrow. Which I'm okay with, because another few days isn't awful. I just miss him.
I want him home yesterday, really.
And it's now midnight and I'm still up (stupid, stupid, stupid) because I just spent an hour googling container gardening, and another hour googling my ex-best friend from high school to learn that she is now living with the man she obsessed over in high school.
And Josh probably won't be home tomorrow. Which I'm okay with, because another few days isn't awful. I just miss him.
I want him home yesterday, really.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Josh is coming home!
Friday or Tuesday. Probably Tuesday, but I can certainly hope Friday. He has not been charged with fraudulent enlistment (that would have been REALLY BAD) but rather erroneous enlistment, meaning the Air Force is accepting fault for having allowed him to enlist when they should not have.
He can even fly to Sacramento! That will save us a few hundred dollars.
Heaven knows I'd love to see him on Friday, but after six weeks another four days isn't going to kill me.
And now! Pictures! Because my blog is so boring! Cute babies alert!
Those are green sugar sprinkles. Nothing in this house is safe!
Guess who's nearly 15 pounds?
He can even fly to Sacramento! That will save us a few hundred dollars.
Heaven knows I'd love to see him on Friday, but after six weeks another four days isn't going to kill me.
And now! Pictures! Because my blog is so boring! Cute babies alert!
Those are green sugar sprinkles. Nothing in this house is safe!
Guess who's nearly 15 pounds?
Swagbucks
Remember Swagbucks? I talked about it a while ago. It's essentially a search engine that rewards you with "bucks" that you can use in their store.
I downloaded the toolbar into Mozilla, and using this and having had two friends sign up and use it a bit I've earned $25 to Amazon so far.
Awesome, huh? I'm thinking I'll use it to buy vitamins. Not sexy, or fun, but something we need and can't really afford right now.
Check it out if you're interested.
I downloaded the toolbar into Mozilla, and using this and having had two friends sign up and use it a bit I've earned $25 to Amazon so far.
Awesome, huh? I'm thinking I'll use it to buy vitamins. Not sexy, or fun, but something we need and can't really afford right now.
Check it out if you're interested.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Resolutions
Who says January 1st has to hog all the resolutions? I've made a few myself lately, as I usually do when I get depressed or feel down. When life throws obstacles down in front of me, I usually respond by crying and then picking myself up and making a new resolution.
I've got a lot of them right now, and am trying to figure out how to prioritize forming new habits. Do I start with getting showered and dressed every morning at a reasonable hour? (Obviously not, as it is 11:23 a.m. and I am still in pajamas--but I washed my face and brushed my teeth already)
Maybe I should go for the better eating. Or making sure I always wash Guy's hands before he eats. Or daily scripture study. Or, or, or . . . too many things on the list right now. I need to content myself to trying to be perfect in one thing until I make it a habit and the move on to the next thing.
I've lost almost 15 pounds since Josh left. I was hoping to lose 35, but 15 is a good start. Yes, I gained 50 pounds with Leo. I feel almost ashamed to admit it, but there it is.
This is a rather rambling post. I need to go and make spritz cookie dough for Mom.
p.s. No news on Josh's homecoming yet.
I've got a lot of them right now, and am trying to figure out how to prioritize forming new habits. Do I start with getting showered and dressed every morning at a reasonable hour? (Obviously not, as it is 11:23 a.m. and I am still in pajamas--but I washed my face and brushed my teeth already)
Maybe I should go for the better eating. Or making sure I always wash Guy's hands before he eats. Or daily scripture study. Or, or, or . . . too many things on the list right now. I need to content myself to trying to be perfect in one thing until I make it a habit and the move on to the next thing.
I've lost almost 15 pounds since Josh left. I was hoping to lose 35, but 15 is a good start. Yes, I gained 50 pounds with Leo. I feel almost ashamed to admit it, but there it is.
This is a rather rambling post. I need to go and make spritz cookie dough for Mom.
p.s. No news on Josh's homecoming yet.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
CIDP
Also known as Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy. It's related to Guillain-Barre, but it's essentially an autoimmune where your immune system attacks the myelin in your nerves.
In Josh's case it's rather mild, resulting in pain mostly in his legs and back. It's possibly degenerative, but it could be a case of relapse/remission where it comes and goes without leading to a shorter lifespan or shorter quality life.
We probably won't know for a good 10 or 15 years which version it is, but I'm surprisingly not at all worried about it. The Lord has provided for us thus far, and will continue to provide.
From the research I've done, there is no treatment available to Josh at this time. The only real options are expensive and have frightening side effects, and would likely not be prescribed for him because he can still walk.
So what am I going to do about it? Everything I can. From what I've been able to gather, there are a few things that might help (and certainly won't hurt). We're going to completely cut out pork from our diet, as well as processed meats. I'm going to significantly cut back on processed food products in general, processed potatoes in particular. We're going to up the intake of raw fruits and vegetables, and I'm going to think about container gardening this summer to make it easier.
I need a plan! I think I should start working on a menu, so we can have variety but still be eating better.
And the kids are up :-) Time to go.
In Josh's case it's rather mild, resulting in pain mostly in his legs and back. It's possibly degenerative, but it could be a case of relapse/remission where it comes and goes without leading to a shorter lifespan or shorter quality life.
We probably won't know for a good 10 or 15 years which version it is, but I'm surprisingly not at all worried about it. The Lord has provided for us thus far, and will continue to provide.
From the research I've done, there is no treatment available to Josh at this time. The only real options are expensive and have frightening side effects, and would likely not be prescribed for him because he can still walk.
So what am I going to do about it? Everything I can. From what I've been able to gather, there are a few things that might help (and certainly won't hurt). We're going to completely cut out pork from our diet, as well as processed meats. I'm going to significantly cut back on processed food products in general, processed potatoes in particular. We're going to up the intake of raw fruits and vegetables, and I'm going to think about container gardening this summer to make it easier.
I need a plan! I think I should start working on a menu, so we can have variety but still be eating better.
And the kids are up :-) Time to go.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Stardust
I'm feeling much more level than I was this morning. Mom and I went to Folsom and ran errands, and in the car we listened to one of the CD's that my sister Shauna put together for my wedding reception. Every last song brought me a smile.
It was a great way to spend the morning. Josh called, and he has an appointment with somebody or other on Monday and should be back by the end of next week. In time for Valentine's Day, I hope. I miss him.
Now I'm going to give myself a pedicure while Katie, Mom and I watch Stardust.
It was a great way to spend the morning. Josh called, and he has an appointment with somebody or other on Monday and should be back by the end of next week. In time for Valentine's Day, I hope. I miss him.
Now I'm going to give myself a pedicure while Katie, Mom and I watch Stardust.
The wheels on the bus . . .
feel like they're falling off.
Something has gotten under my skin, and I'm not sure what. But I'm feeling seriously off and it's bugging me. Last night I stayed up past midnight reading, but I didn't really enjoy it.
I think I'm struggling to feel normal in any sense, and anticipating Josh's return is really exciting but also feels kind of like a ticking bomb. As soon as he's back, I can fall apart? It sure seems like I'm threatening to do it once I see him again. With his needing as much strength and support as I can give him, I'm feeling sucked dry more and more at the end of each passing day.
Any suggestions? I'm trying to keep up with my personal prayer and scripture study, and I'm taking time to do nice things for myself, but I'm feeling like the mom role is escaping me today.
Oh, well. Persevere. I'll make it through. And hopefully within the week I'll see my husband again.
Sorry for the downer post. I'll be happier tomorrow.
Something has gotten under my skin, and I'm not sure what. But I'm feeling seriously off and it's bugging me. Last night I stayed up past midnight reading, but I didn't really enjoy it.
I think I'm struggling to feel normal in any sense, and anticipating Josh's return is really exciting but also feels kind of like a ticking bomb. As soon as he's back, I can fall apart? It sure seems like I'm threatening to do it once I see him again. With his needing as much strength and support as I can give him, I'm feeling sucked dry more and more at the end of each passing day.
Any suggestions? I'm trying to keep up with my personal prayer and scripture study, and I'm taking time to do nice things for myself, but I'm feeling like the mom role is escaping me today.
Oh, well. Persevere. I'll make it through. And hopefully within the week I'll see my husband again.
Sorry for the downer post. I'll be happier tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
If you have ten minutes
You should really read this wonderful article titled Family Work. It was published in BYU Magazine, and it really helped me to solidify some of my ideas regarding how to raise children who are not afraid of working hard.
Have a cheerful day, my friends.
Have a cheerful day, my friends.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I think we have a diagnosis
I'm not counting my chickens before they're hatched, but as of right now we think it's Guillain-Barre syndrome.
I don't know, but it's possible that Josh was given a flu vaccine upon arriving at basic which might have triggered a relapse.
But he signed the separation papers today, and with seven more signatures he'll be free to come home. (It should take between one and two weeks if all goes well)
I don't know, but it's possible that Josh was given a flu vaccine upon arriving at basic which might have triggered a relapse.
But he signed the separation papers today, and with seven more signatures he'll be free to come home. (It should take between one and two weeks if all goes well)
Finally
Something is happening. Today Josh has a doctor's appointment to go over his civilian medical records. From there? Well, who knows. I sure don't.
In the meantime, diapers and babies and playing at the park today. Hopefully.
In the meantime, diapers and babies and playing at the park today. Hopefully.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Big sigh
Spit up on my shoulder, a naked toddler who wants to eat nothing but goldfish, and no news to report on the husband. Except I saw a photo that the missionaries sent me, and he looks absolutely skeletal. I'm going to have to work hard to get some weight back on him.
Today I'm going to shower, go to the dry cleaners and the bank, take the kids to the park (I hope) and try to keep my chin up.
Next step? Figure out why the baby is crying.
Today I'm going to shower, go to the dry cleaners and the bank, take the kids to the park (I hope) and try to keep my chin up.
Next step? Figure out why the baby is crying.
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