I was up until 1 a.m. last night watching TV and surfing the internet. Guy woke up at 5:30 and didn't go back to bed.
It's been a good day, despite feeling a bit fatigued. I got all the laundry washed--but need to fold two of the three loads still. We all took showers (Guy got a bath). We went to Aunt Mary Kay's and Uncle Lou's 25th Anniversary party. We played Mario Party 8 on the Wii. I really did enjoy the day.
Josh and I decided this weekend that we're really not cut out for living in the middle of downtown in a huge city.
Josh is feeling stressed but can't figure out why and it's affecting his health. This is simultaneously a difficulty and a blessing. It makes me snap out of my "poor me" mentality and in serving him and Guy helps me feel happier. But it's hard to be the one that's primarily responsible for everything on the weekends because Josh needs to relax in order to survive the next week. Especially as the fear sometimes gets the best of me when I'm thinking about the pregnancy.
I don't want to go back to Philly, but I'm reconciling myself to the fact that it really is better than staying here. As Becca commented on my last post--I'm extremely grateful to have an out that's sooner rather than later.
And we might get to see Jeremy and Amy! That would rock it to the awesome. I have no idea where I picked up that phrase, but I like it. Anyway, they're thinking of coming out to visit.
Thus ends my long, boring, and pictureless post. I still haven't found the batteries, so maybe I should just buy some, eh? Maybe.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
I know, I know
You're all dying for an update, right?
Well, the weather the last two days has been bearable. I got to see Becca today. We're going to Scranton this afternoon (swimming pool! hell's kitchen! food network!backyard!). We've successfully survived three weeks in Pennsylvania, and have five to go.
In other news, I'm feeling vulnerable and lonely. I have a really hard time not crying when I think about missing my friends. I want to be able to step outside my door and not have to put my armor on because I don't know who will approach me or what they'll want.
At the grocery store this morning, a lady with a speech impediment told me she wanted to buy my groceries for me with her food stamps in exchange for cash. I lied and told her I didn't have any cash. I'm assuming her proposal was illegal, and it made me wonder what she wanted the cash for. I sighed, realized I didn't want to know, and wandered around trying to find napkins (it's a really counterintuitive grocery setup).
Keeping busy with Guy underfoot is hard. I run out of ideas by noon most days, and out of energy even before that.
The thought that keeps running through my head?
This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Oh, yeah. And I can't find an OB/GYN who will see me for just one apointment here in Philadelphia, so I'll probably have to spend a week in Scranton without Josh and go see my aunt's doctor. Who has graciously agreed to see me if I need anything. Everywhere I turn there are road blocks and blessings. But it's still hard.
Well, the weather the last two days has been bearable. I got to see Becca today. We're going to Scranton this afternoon (swimming pool! hell's kitchen! food network!backyard!). We've successfully survived three weeks in Pennsylvania, and have five to go.
In other news, I'm feeling vulnerable and lonely. I have a really hard time not crying when I think about missing my friends. I want to be able to step outside my door and not have to put my armor on because I don't know who will approach me or what they'll want.
At the grocery store this morning, a lady with a speech impediment told me she wanted to buy my groceries for me with her food stamps in exchange for cash. I lied and told her I didn't have any cash. I'm assuming her proposal was illegal, and it made me wonder what she wanted the cash for. I sighed, realized I didn't want to know, and wandered around trying to find napkins (it's a really counterintuitive grocery setup).
Keeping busy with Guy underfoot is hard. I run out of ideas by noon most days, and out of energy even before that.
The thought that keeps running through my head?
This is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Oh, yeah. And I can't find an OB/GYN who will see me for just one apointment here in Philadelphia, so I'll probably have to spend a week in Scranton without Josh and go see my aunt's doctor. Who has graciously agreed to see me if I need anything. Everywhere I turn there are road blocks and blessings. But it's still hard.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Ambivalence
Happy 4th, everybody.
We had a nice relaxing day in Scranton, with barbecue, a pool, not too many people, good laughs, and some fireworks. A nice day.
And I don't want to go back to Philadelphia. I know I've only been there for four days. But I don't want to go back.
I know that I should. Josh needs the support, and I need to not be a burden to his relatives for a month.
But I'm having a hard time being positive about our situation. Especially when I compare it to what it was intended to be--our nice suburban Victorian home with a washer/dryer, partially furnished, with internet and cable, near a duck pond, park, pool, and Trader Joe's.
Instead I have anxiety, strange people, a flight of stairs and three locked doors through which to maneuver, pregnancy restrictions, and an apartment that's like an inferno much of the day. I'm pretty sure it's the reason Guy's naps are suddenly 45 minutes long. He wakes up in a sweat.
Today, in a room with an a/c, he napped for more than 2 hours.
I'm struggling. I know it's only 22 more days that we'll actually be in Philly. I also know that if the situation were different in any one of a number of different ways it would be much easier.
But it's not easier. It's hard. It's hot. It's tiring. I feel that I shouldn't complain to Josh--I don't want him to be upset for me. I know I can do this. I can even do my best to be cheerful about it.
This leaves me thinking: what about the times that I don't want to?
We had a nice relaxing day in Scranton, with barbecue, a pool, not too many people, good laughs, and some fireworks. A nice day.
And I don't want to go back to Philadelphia. I know I've only been there for four days. But I don't want to go back.
I know that I should. Josh needs the support, and I need to not be a burden to his relatives for a month.
But I'm having a hard time being positive about our situation. Especially when I compare it to what it was intended to be--our nice suburban Victorian home with a washer/dryer, partially furnished, with internet and cable, near a duck pond, park, pool, and Trader Joe's.
Instead I have anxiety, strange people, a flight of stairs and three locked doors through which to maneuver, pregnancy restrictions, and an apartment that's like an inferno much of the day. I'm pretty sure it's the reason Guy's naps are suddenly 45 minutes long. He wakes up in a sweat.
Today, in a room with an a/c, he napped for more than 2 hours.
I'm struggling. I know it's only 22 more days that we'll actually be in Philly. I also know that if the situation were different in any one of a number of different ways it would be much easier.
But it's not easier. It's hard. It's hot. It's tiring. I feel that I shouldn't complain to Josh--I don't want him to be upset for me. I know I can do this. I can even do my best to be cheerful about it.
This leaves me thinking: what about the times that I don't want to?
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
It's an Education, all right!
Things I have learned from my three days in Philadelphia:
Lightning bugs are really cool!
Smokers? Very not cool.
I will never take a nearby and safe playground for granted again.
I hate having to lock three doors behind me when I leave the house.
It's very hard to convince Guy to go down our apartment's stairs without being carried.
I love being two blocks from a grocery store.
I hate carrying a purse, stroller, groceries, and dragging Guy behind me up a flight of stairs.
I like the city. But I miss my friends.
I love, love, love familiar places.
Lightning bugs are really cool!
Smokers? Very not cool.
I will never take a nearby and safe playground for granted again.
I hate having to lock three doors behind me when I leave the house.
It's very hard to convince Guy to go down our apartment's stairs without being carried.
I love being two blocks from a grocery store.
I hate carrying a purse, stroller, groceries, and dragging Guy behind me up a flight of stairs.
I like the city. But I miss my friends.
I love, love, love familiar places.
Monday, June 30, 2008
We're all in Philly, now!
We got here Sunday after a fun week for Guy and myself in Scranton. And a fun weekend for Josh :-)
Our apartment is nice. Old, but nice. It was really dusty and kind of dirty. But it's got two huge bedrooms, and is nicely furnished, and will be a very comfortable place to live for a month. I'm pleased.
I had a bit of a mental breakdown last when we first got here and it hit me that I'd be alone without TV, internet, or anyone but Guy during the day. I also wanted to make sure I could get everything done during the day (shopping, laundry, cleaning, etc.) so that Josh could enjoy coming home and relaxing with our little family every night after work. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, watch Guy, and keep the little one in utero safe. I was tired, hungry, and really hot and sweaty.
I'm better now! Turns out, if we're in the right spot we can get a wireless connection. And Guy's summer birthday present was some awesome Beatrix Potter DVD's. I like them probably more than he does :-)
And UPenn's campus is close by and gorgeous. There's a nice grocery store just three blocks down the street. We had a good dinner tonight and Guy is already in bed. His windowblinds don't block the light very well, and he has huge windows so he'll likely get up early every morning.
I tried posting all of this last night, but my spotty internet connection disappeared at just the wrong time. So know that we are all doing well, but don't expect too much contact except maybe on the off weekend when we're in Scranton while we're here.
I love you all!
Our apartment is nice. Old, but nice. It was really dusty and kind of dirty. But it's got two huge bedrooms, and is nicely furnished, and will be a very comfortable place to live for a month. I'm pleased.
I had a bit of a mental breakdown last when we first got here and it hit me that I'd be alone without TV, internet, or anyone but Guy during the day. I also wanted to make sure I could get everything done during the day (shopping, laundry, cleaning, etc.) so that Josh could enjoy coming home and relaxing with our little family every night after work. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, watch Guy, and keep the little one in utero safe. I was tired, hungry, and really hot and sweaty.
I'm better now! Turns out, if we're in the right spot we can get a wireless connection. And Guy's summer birthday present was some awesome Beatrix Potter DVD's. I like them probably more than he does :-)
And UPenn's campus is close by and gorgeous. There's a nice grocery store just three blocks down the street. We had a good dinner tonight and Guy is already in bed. His windowblinds don't block the light very well, and he has huge windows so he'll likely get up early every morning.
I tried posting all of this last night, but my spotty internet connection disappeared at just the wrong time. So know that we are all doing well, but don't expect too much contact except maybe on the off weekend when we're in Scranton while we're here.
I love you all!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Tra-loo, Tra-lay
Oh happy day. (Quote from a children's book)
It's been a great day. Despite the fact that Guy woke up at 6:15 and stayed awake until naptime more than six hours later, we had a great day. Lots of playing, plenty of good food, a trip to Target for some essentials to get us through tomorrow, and fabulous conversation.
I love having my Josh around. :-D
In other news? I am definitely pregnant and look it. Once we get settled in Philadelphia I'll find the extra batteries and take some pictures of my belly. Even Josh was surprised to see how much had changed in a week. Unfortunately, I am also feeling quite pregnant as my feet and legs by the end of the day feel pretty uncomfortable. I think I'll go ask for a foot rub before bed!
It's been a great day. Despite the fact that Guy woke up at 6:15 and stayed awake until naptime more than six hours later, we had a great day. Lots of playing, plenty of good food, a trip to Target for some essentials to get us through tomorrow, and fabulous conversation.
I love having my Josh around. :-D
In other news? I am definitely pregnant and look it. Once we get settled in Philadelphia I'll find the extra batteries and take some pictures of my belly. Even Josh was surprised to see how much had changed in a week. Unfortunately, I am also feeling quite pregnant as my feet and legs by the end of the day feel pretty uncomfortable. I think I'll go ask for a foot rub before bed!
Friday, June 27, 2008
It's late . . .
Well, it's only 10:15 here, but it feels late to me. The swollen feet and sore hips are telling me that it's bedtime.
Josh got in from Philly a little after 7, giving him plenty of time to fill petit Guy with joy and giggles at seeing his Papa after five long days of separation. I admit, I was pretty happy to see him, too :-)
Josh and his cousins are playing Desert Storm on the Xbox, so I've been surfing the net for the last two hours.
I read a lot. I went through my archives and edited a few things from when no one actually read this blog. And I reminded myself of a few goals I had for this blog that I had forgotten.
Originally I wanted to make it more than just a personal blog--the point was to share the things I was learning and doing and reading. I haven't done so much of that lately, and I would like my blog to be more than just, "This is what happened today." So I promise to talk about more than just my life, my pregnancy, my cute baby, and my cuter husband. Pinky swear. :-D
Tidbit for the day: Did you know that the movie Just Like Heaven is based on a book? A book written by a Frenchman, no less. My French friend lent me a copy of her favorite work by him, but I have yet to read more than the first page. That's my reading goal for the summer, along with finishing Jesus the Christ. I bet I can do it. I may even get around to posting book reviews! You'll just have to wait and see, friends.
Josh got in from Philly a little after 7, giving him plenty of time to fill petit Guy with joy and giggles at seeing his Papa after five long days of separation. I admit, I was pretty happy to see him, too :-)
Josh and his cousins are playing Desert Storm on the Xbox, so I've been surfing the net for the last two hours.
I read a lot. I went through my archives and edited a few things from when no one actually read this blog. And I reminded myself of a few goals I had for this blog that I had forgotten.
Originally I wanted to make it more than just a personal blog--the point was to share the things I was learning and doing and reading. I haven't done so much of that lately, and I would like my blog to be more than just, "This is what happened today." So I promise to talk about more than just my life, my pregnancy, my cute baby, and my cuter husband. Pinky swear. :-D
Tidbit for the day: Did you know that the movie Just Like Heaven is based on a book? A book written by a Frenchman, no less. My French friend lent me a copy of her favorite work by him, but I have yet to read more than the first page. That's my reading goal for the summer, along with finishing Jesus the Christ. I bet I can do it. I may even get around to posting book reviews! You'll just have to wait and see, friends.
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