Happy 4th, everybody.
We had a nice relaxing day in Scranton, with barbecue, a pool, not too many people, good laughs, and some fireworks. A nice day.
And I don't want to go back to Philadelphia. I know I've only been there for four days. But I don't want to go back.
I know that I should. Josh needs the support, and I need to not be a burden to his relatives for a month.
But I'm having a hard time being positive about our situation. Especially when I compare it to what it was intended to be--our nice suburban Victorian home with a washer/dryer, partially furnished, with internet and cable, near a duck pond, park, pool, and Trader Joe's.
Instead I have anxiety, strange people, a flight of stairs and three locked doors through which to maneuver, pregnancy restrictions, and an apartment that's like an inferno much of the day. I'm pretty sure it's the reason Guy's naps are suddenly 45 minutes long. He wakes up in a sweat.
Today, in a room with an a/c, he napped for more than 2 hours.
I'm struggling. I know it's only 22 more days that we'll actually be in Philly. I also know that if the situation were different in any one of a number of different ways it would be much easier.
But it's not easier. It's hard. It's hot. It's tiring. I feel that I shouldn't complain to Josh--I don't want him to be upset for me. I know I can do this. I can even do my best to be cheerful about it.
This leaves me thinking: what about the times that I don't want to?
6 comments:
Go hang at Becca's--does she have an air conditioner? You sound lonely. Time will go by. Any thrift stores around to buy a TV? Library? Are you guys going back Saturday? It would be fun to explore with Josh.
Library is good - I'd also recommend audible.com. Knitting? How about a new internet hobby? Hm. Shall I call you at lunchtime? Text me your telephone number - unless you're using your cell. I have that. (I think)
I sympathize with you. That must be tough with the stairs and the pregnancy and the very cute, but busy one and a half-year-old. Did you guys get to go to church on Sunday? Meet anyone new? I know that Becca's apartment is close to Penn and I don't know her schedule with classes right now, but I'm sure she'd love to get together. Luckily you only have 20 more days (or less?). Keep smiling (even when you really don't want to--I have to tell myself that sometimes too).
Suckage. I sympathize. I wish I could take you out for a jamba. I owe you like 3 I think and sounds like you could use them all!
Dude, Em, you NEED to come hang out at my place, even if I'm not home. I'm serious. I live like right next to you.
So what are the fun plans for the weekend?
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